Memorable Quotes from Love Actually

Prime Minister: Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around.

[on sheets of poster board]
Mark: [on sheets of poster board] With any luck, by next year - I'll be going out with one of these girls.
[shows pictures of beautiful supermodels]
Mark: But for now, let me say - Without hope or agenda - Just because it's Christmas - And at Christmas you tell the truth - To me, you are perfect - And my wasted heart will love you - Until you look like this
[picture of a mummy]
Mark: Merry Christmas

Billy Mack: Hiya kids. Here is an important message from your Uncle Bill. Don't buy drugs. Become a pop star, and they give you them for free.

Press Conference Reporter: Mr. President, has it been a good visit?
The President: Very satisfactory indeed. We got what we came for and our special relationship is still very special.
Press Conference Reporter: Prime Minister?
Prime Minister: I love that word "relationship". Covers all manner of sins, doesn't it? I fear that this has become a bad relationship. A relationship based on the President taking exactly what he wants and casually ignoring all those things that really matter to, erm... Britain. We may be a small country but we're a great one, too. The country of Shakespeare, Churchill, the Beatles, Sean Connery, Harry Potter. David Beckham's right foot. David Beckham's left foot, come to that. And a friend who bullies us is no longer a friend. And since bullies only respond to strength, from now onward, I will be prepared to be much stronger. And the President should be prepared for that.

Billy Mack: I realized that Christmas is the time to be with the people you love.
Joe: Right.
Billy Mack: And I realized that as dire chance and fateful cockup would have it, here I am, mid 50s, and without knowing it I've gone and spent most of my adult life with a chubby employee. And much as it grieves me to say it, it might be that the people I love is, in fact... you.
[pause]
Joe: Well, this is a surprise.
Billy Mack: Yeah...
Joe: Ten minutes at Elton John's and you're as gay as a maypole.

Billy Mack: I left Elton John's, where there were a hefty number of half-naked chicks with their mouths open, to hang out with you, at Christmas. It's a terrible mistake, Chubs, but you turn out to be the fucking love of my life. And to be honest, despite all my complaining, we have had a wonderful life.

Billy Mack: Let's get pissed and watch porn.

Billy Mack: Oh! Fuck wank bugger shitting arse head and hole!

[Aurelia meets Juliet, Mark, and Peter in the airport]
Aurelia: [to Jamie] Jaime's friends are so good looking!
[to friends]
Aurelia: He never tells me this. I think now, maybe I make the wrong choice, pick wrong Englishman?
Jamie: She can't speak English properly, she doesn't know what she's saying.

Sam: There's a big concert at the end of the term, and Joanna's going to be in it. I thought, if I was in the concert, and played really, really well, there's a chance she might fall in love with me. What do you think?
Daniel: I think it's brilliant! It's stellar! Uh, apart from the one little, obvious, tiny, little baby hiccup...
Sam: That I don't play a musical instrument.
Daniel: Yessir.
Sam: A tiny, insignificant detail.

[Billy's record makes #1]
Radio DJ: Hi, Billy!
Billy Mack: Hello.
Radio DJ: We're live across the country, and you're number one!
[Billy laughs]
Radio DJ: How will you be celebrating?
Billy Mack: I don't know. Uh, either I could behave like a real rock-and-roll loser, and get drunk with my fat manager, or when I hang up I'll be bombarded with invitations to a large number of glamorous parties.
Radio DJ: Let's hope it's the second, Billy. And here it is again, Number One by Billy Mack, it's "Christmas Is All Around."
Billy Mack: Oh, Jesus, not that crap again!
[laughter]